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Once there was an ugly barnacle...

1000 Rules Of The Internet.

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/d/. WASH MY EYES OUT

♂. You are being watched by hoMoses.

-. All rules after this line either use letters or special characters as rule numbers, or a single digit. no exceptions.

Q. Stacy's Mom has got it going on. No exceptions.

✓. This exception has been accepted.

^. In the event that the universe becomes so immense that it will collapse in on itself, causing disruption in the time-space continuum, unraveling time from the beginning, and eventually deleting the past, present, and future, the Rules of the Internet will survive. No exceptions.

0bama. There are people who don't like the president. There are people who do. Are there people who do and don't like the president?

~.~ But above all else you must remember that this is the internet, and there are no rules.

18/0. Memory access violation. This rule is a virus or programmed by a ill-qualified specialist.

ƒ. AFH is still g0d of the internet

Þ. Attempting to get more users will result in loads of fun. No Exceptions.

ð. There's a later rule that's the same as above.

-∞. No one believes the rules of the internet.

-∞+1. Rules are meant to be broken! Rules of the internet are not meant to be!

-∞+2. No one heard about the rules of the internet.

-∞+3. Refer to rule 93.

-∞+4. This rule can/will not exist.

-9001. It's under 9000. No exceptions.

-69. More than 2 69s is unacceptable. No exceptions.

-9. If no answers, Zoidberg is answer. No exceptions.

-8. LOL NEGATIVE

-7. Hey Zephyr! Homecoming? -Josh

-6. Rule 0 is true.

-5. Cake and justice will be served.

-4. The internet has no rules, no exceptions.

-3. If you are srs, everyone is srs. No exceptions.

-2 1/2. Never cuss any Canadians.

-2. You won the game

-1.1. Lil /b/ is my friend

-1. /b/ is not your friend. No exceptions.

e^(i*pi)+1. Complex numbers are the truth. No exceptions.

-0. Positive numbers are a lie. No exceptions.

0. Negative numbers are a lie. No exceptions.

0.999999.discord The internet was born from chaos, is chaos and will always be chaos. No exceptions.

101. You are never THE BEST at anything, deal with it.

101.1. If you think you are the best at something the Dunning-Kruger Effect says Hi.

101.2. The guy next to you is always the best. No exceptions.

102. You are made of fail and AIDS.

103. That's no such thing as safe sex

104. The internet is for adult videos.

105. Rule 71 is SERIOUS BUSINESS.

106. Rule 109 is true.

107. "That's what she said" jokes are stupid. No Exceptions

107.1. That's no she...

108. THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!!!!!

108.2. ABOUT HIM!!!!

108.3. OMG!!!!!!!!!!

109. Rule 106 is false.

109.2. Rules that make your head hurt are retarded NO EXCEPTIONS

109.2.1. The transitive property applies to subrules.

110. If your statement is preceded by "HAY GUYZ", then you're doing something wrong.

110.2. HAY GUYZ, I found rule 93 ^_^

111. If you cannot understand it, it is machine code.

112. What you click isn't always what you get. Always remember rule 284.

113. Gamestop does NOT have Battletoads (or N64 games). But ask anyway.

114. Secure tripcodes are for fools.

115. If someone herd u liek Mudkipz, deny it constantly for the lulz.

115.2. I herd you liek Mudkipz. No exceptions.

116. Combo breakers are inevitable. If the combo is completed successfully, it is gay.

117. Always go out of your way to make newbies feel uncomfortable.

117.2. Master Chief makes all Covenant feel uncomfortable. Therefore, all Covenant are newbies. No exceptions.

118. Newbies must be tortured to death. No exceptions.

119. Only Newbies like caturday, Bruce Lee, and Desu. Those who like any of those refer to rule 93.

120. Nobody likes you.

120.2. Except Pedobear (see also: rule 93)

121. Because is the sworn enemy of Anonymous. It must be stopped.

122. There is NO God here (Except Chuck Norris Theodore Roosevelt, Haruhi Suzumiya, AFH, and Goomy).

122.2. Celestia is greater than Chuck Norris Theodore Roosevelt.

122.2.1. Celestia is not Molestia or Trollestia, those are her cousins whom she does not wish to be associated with.

122.3. Luna is greater than Celestia. (Lunar Republic FTW)

122.4. Lauren Faust is Greater Then ALL! No exceptions.

122.5. Goomy is greater than Lauren Faust.

123. 456789

124. Anonymous is surprised.

124.2. There is an error in rule 124.

126. shaMTV must give Rick his award. No exceptions.

127. No NewGays aloud.

127.2. ALLOWED, YOU GAY, NOT ALOUD.

127.0.0.1. HEY KEEP IT DOWN OUT THERE, I'M TRYING TO SLEEP

127.0.0.0.1. OP is a gay. No exceptions.

128. Everything you know is a lie, but all those lies are nothing. So by using the transitive property we can conclude that everything = nothing and if you add an integer (x) into the equation we can single anything out and turn it into a certain amount of nothing explained by this graph e = everything n = nothing

  |          _ 
  |      ___/ \ 
e | ____/      \ 
  |/            \ 
  |______________\________________
            
               n

As you can see, at a certain point of everything, nothing cannot exist. So in conclusion, I have no idea what I'm talking about. See Rule 93.

128.2. Math is hard. See above if you think of any exceptions.

129. BOTS will be dismantled.

130. Deep Internet = Very Scary

131. Whatever it is, pie is involved in some form. No exceptions.

132. If it can't be killed, it doesn't exist. (Except Chuck Norris Theodore Roosevelt) No other exceptions.

133. If you met your girlfriend/boyfriend online then you are dating Steve.(Unless there is webcam involved, then his name is John.)

134. If it talks, you must shut it up.

135. Myspace is for thirteen year old girls and people who fit the description of Rule # 133.

135.1. But I thought there were no girls on the Internet!

135.2. MySpace was, is, and will never be part of the Internet. No exceptions.

138. Rule 139 does/will not exist.

The Lazah hit it, so It's gone now.

140. XKCD can explain everything. explain it or it goes.

141. Godmodding is retarded. Seriously just accept your death.

142. Just ignore him he will think you're afk.

144. People can't understand sarcasm.

144.2. As if people could understand it!

145. If you take it seriously go out.

146. Stop it.

147. Regardless, if you are tired of the teamspeak there is someone that has muted themselves just so they can laugh at you.

148. You don't get any cookies. No exceptions. So don't even ask.

149. Brandon is God's son, making him Jesus. Chuck Norris Theodore Roosevelt has no son.

150. You are not going to get a handicap so don't even ask. They will just target you.

151. You will not get a free Xbox 360/Playstation 3/iPhone so don't even get your hopes up.

151.1. There are always more Pokemon. Always.

151.2. You won a brand new iPad. No exceptions.

152. They didn't call you retarded but they were thinking it.

153. It's funny to pick on people's grammar no matter how good it is. No exceptions.

154. The louder you scream at people the harder someone else will laugh.

155.

157. Someone already did it better. No exceptions.

157.5. It was ME!

157.5.5. Rule 157.5 is Japanese.

158. It was in an episode of South Park. No exceptions.

159. The more you deny something the more they are going to say that you are "something".

160. Google. No exceptions.

160.1. I Googled, now what?

160.2. Lmgtfy (Let Me Google This For You). No exceptions.

161. The guy next to you in the library is always looking at what you are saying.

162. The girl next to you in the library isn't.

163. There's a reason- you know what? Never mind. If you can't figure it out, you seriously need to LURK MORE.

164. Refer to step 2 on Rule #165.

165. Refer to step 3 on Rule #93.

166. People who get depressed on the internet need a better use of time.

168. If you pretend that you are drunk people will just think you're fools because no one can act drunk on the internet.

169. No, I'll have 2 69s.

170. None of us is as cruel as all of us.

171. At any given moment, more birds could join, leave, or peel off in another direction entirely.

172. Use inside jokes more. It upsets users.

174. Only 4chan'rs unsuspecting victims hate Rick Astley.

175. The talk page is for spam. Don't go there.

176. Chuck Norris Theodore Roosevelt roundhouse kicks children with the last name of Edgerton.

177. Tropicana tastes like the rainbow. No exceptions

177.2. Rainbow Dash tastes like a rainbow. No exceptions.

177.3. The rainbow is made out of skittles

178. Shadow sticks are fun to play with in the dark. Unless there are more than 3.

179. Refer to all unwritten rules. No exceptions.

180. For every life the internet improves it destroys 10 others.

181. Anything that's good is a virus.

182. We better start helping the earth, otherwise Al Gore will take back the internets!!! NO MORE BROADBAND! NO DIALUP!

182.696969. Broadband and Dialup is the worst possible this in the universe that can happen to you. Only one excpetion, you are fed up with Chuck Norris Theodore Roosevelt.

183. If i have 3 cakes and you have one cake, only here you have no cake and I have 3 ps3's.

184. The only potty training videos allowed are ones that feature tigers and are japanese in nature (english subtitles are acceptable)

184.2. The only fundies allowed are those that don't exist.

185. The Internet and Golf are quite similar they both were invented for men to get away from woman.

191. You will always forget to add an attachment to your e-mails.

192. If you break rule 1 and 2. You will be rickroll'd in hell.

193. If you break rule 188. You will be punished.

194. If you break rule 2, Barack Obama will laud you.

194.2. If you break rule 899 or 899.2, Barack Obama will punish you.

195. People called Fred are just Fail. No Exceptions.

195.2. Fred Phelps is never going to be an exception to the previous rule.

196. People named Tyler are just win. No Exceptions.

197. People named Matty are just sexy. No and I mean no Exceptions.

197.2. People named AFH are not mentally disturbed. No and I mean no exceptions.

197.3. If his Initials are AFH, he is god of teh internetz. No and I mean no Exceptions.

198. If it's not on Google, It does not exist. No Exceptions.

199. If it's not on Google, then you're searching with the wrong criteria, no exceptions

199.1. If SafeSearch is on, you are a using WIndows, no exceptions.

200. Pictures or it didn't happen.

627. This rule forgot its spot.

201. Maths in failing:

Win + Fail = Epicfail Fail + Fail = Win Win + Win = Fail Epicfail + Epicfail = Chuck Norris Theodore Roosevelt

203. If you run out of cookies, give apples, If you run out of apples, Give Spam. No exceptions.

205. All Americans are fat. No exceptions.

206. Any breaking of pi will result in pi being broken. No one knows the consequences. You have been warned.

207. Rules 1 and 2 are false. From now on, all rules must be about /b/. Unless they aren't.

208. Rules 1, 2 and 206 are true.

209. See rule 208.

210. See rule 209.

211. srt8 must not marry MITB. No exceptions.

212. 4chan is funny. No exceptions.

213. Your mother is behind you. No exceptions, unless she isn't.

214. In case of an emergency, your emergency exit can be found in the top right corner of your screen. No, and i promise you, NO exceptions.

214.2. Except on a Mac. It's on the left.

214.3. Press Alt+F4 for an epic thing to happen.

215. Rule 213 is false. Do not click that button.

216. 3, is the magic number.... 3, is the magic number.... NO EXCEPTIONS!

216.1. 1 is the loneliest number.

216.2. 42

216.3. 3 is the short version of π (Also see rule 328)

216.4. Fibonacci.

216.5. Catalan.

217. Creator of 4chan is mentally Disturbed. No exceptions.

217.5. /b/ will only be referred to as /b/ outside of /b/. Please refer to rules 1 and 2. No exceptions.

219. Google is not a calculator.

220. Longcat is LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG. No exceptions.

222. The game.

222.2. The game ended, wait a while before we start the next wave.

222.3. The second wave is started.

222.4. The trolls are swarming. You should probably just fold.

222.5. V3A3X and Goomy can't loose the game, no matter the circumstances. No exceptions.

222.6. They draw against each other. So that way, they can't lose. PARADOX AVERTED!

223. Only gays add rules that don't go along with rule 93 no exceptions.

224. All rules above "PROFIT!₁" don't count. No Exceptions.

224.2. All rules below "PROFIT!₂" don't count. No Exceptions.

224.3. All rules below "PROFIT!₃" count. No Exceptions.

225. The Simpsons already did it. South Park already did it better. NO EXCEPTIONS

226. If a statement may be taken sexually in any way, then she already said it. No exceptions.

227. Asking Alexandria is the worst band in the world. No exceptions

228. None of these rules apply to this wiki. No exceptions.

228.2. Except the ones about newbies following the rules.

231. Except if it is on /d/. No exceptions.

232. You cannot control the person in charge. No exceptions.

233. The person in charge only wants to make your life miserable. No exceptions.

234.4. If any one that is of the female verity says They always win to him, they must date him. NO EXCEPTIONS!

234. Rule 186 is the only exception to rule 204

235A. Edit the Rules.

235B. Lean back and wait.

235C. ???

235D. PROFIT!₁

236. There is no more than 1 rule for 1 number. 234 is the only exception, all others can refer to rule 93.

236.1. No.

236.2. There are 2 rule e's and 2 rule i's and 2 rule k's.

237. There will be placeholders. No exceptions.

240. Rule 301 is false, it is occasionally Alex.

241. Everything fun on the internet is either illegal, immoral or fattening.

242. This is the internet, honesty is not an option. See rule 899 or rule 93 for details.

242.2. Everybody lies on the Internet. Rule 242 is a lie too. No exceptions.

242.3. Nothing will ever, in the history of the world, damage music more than Rebecca Black did.

242.4. It is not Friday. The Friday after Thanksgiving and Friday the 13th are the only exceptions ever.

243. TNA is out in the cold, WWE rocks.

244. WWE is out in the cold, TNA rocks.

246. Pro Wrestling is gay. No exceptions.

246.2. Also, it is SERIOUS BUSINESS. No exceptions.

249. Euskal hizkuntza dela begiratuko du lelo bat bezala.

250. Additional Pylons are required. Always.

251. No one uses anything but Google. No exceptions.

252. Rule 52 is a lie. Thank you.

252.1. So is the cake

253. Yes, it is some chickens.

254. Steve Irwin's death is really, really funny.

255. Anonymous is an Internet Hate Machine. Wikipedia said so.

255.2. Wikipedia is never wrong. Your teachers were.

256. For every curse word, there is a town with that name. No exceptions.

257. CP is awwwright, but DSFARGEG will get you b&.

258. ASDFMOVIE is god. No exception.

259. Hal Turner definitely needs to gb2/hell/.

261. Bobba bobba is bobba.

262. Yes, it is still some chickens.

263. Disregard Bigmike is out in the cold.

264. Spengbab Sqarpaint is luv Padtwick Zhstar iz fwend.

265. Anonymous still owes Hal Turner one trillion U.S. dollars.

266. Pokémon yuri is awesome, especially Elesa/Skyla.

267. Why are so many rules not written yet?

268. BECAUSE RACE CAR.

0x10c. This game will be epic, but not as good as the best game of all time evar on the internets... - Minecraft.

269. Yeah, finally...2 69's!

269.1. To 69 or not to 69? Did she take a shower? That is the question.

270. If you do not believe it, then it must be habeebed for great justice.

271. 299 is a lie. This is sparta. No exceptions.

272. This is the end of the world, no exceptions.

273. 301 is a lie. The end is the beginning. No exceptions.

274. Not even Spider-Man knows how to shoot web.

275. By extension to rule 301, it is never a job offer.

276. One does not simply shoop da whoop into Mordor.

278. If a song gets famous, there will be a slowed-down acoustic cover by a female singer-songwriter.

279. Mitchell Henderson was an hero to us all.

280. This is a showdown, a throwdown, hell no I can't slow down, it's gonna go.

281. I am copying directly from the UrbanDictionary definition of the Rules of the Internet.

282. If you express astonishment at someone's claim, it is most likely just a clever ruse.

283. That's not mud.

284. What has been seen cannot be unseen. Even the post clearance that's coming up.

290. UrbanDictionary's entry is out of date.

291. 5pam 5ome MORE

292. There are no real rules about moderation — enjoy your ban.

293. There should be a hand in it somehow.

293.2. See 108.

294. Everything has been searched on the internet.

295. Box dividers are gay.

296. Twitter is pointless.

297. GentleMentleMen will never retain its original audio.

298. Any BEATMANIA song will be made into a meme.

299. This is madness. No exceptions.

300. No, This Is SPARTA!

301. No, this is Patrick.

301.2. Yes, this is Dog.

302. Food has been made from any part from any animal. No exceptions.

303. If they exist, they have been shipped. No Exceptions.

304. Buy the extended warranty. No exceptions.

305. Backups are useless.

306. Even one positive comment on Japanese things makes you a weeaboo.

307. Chuck Norris Theodore Roosevelt is an exception to rule 63, no exceptions.

308. Always bring your towel, no exceptions.

310.

311. A crossover, even an improbable one, will eventually happen in fanart, fanfic, or official release material. No exceptions.

312. Dubstep does not exist except Skrillex. No exceptions except rule 312.1.

312.1. Actually, Muse made a pretty good dubstep. No exceptions.

312.2. But until they make moar, (in terms of amount of dubstep), Normal music < Home music < Muse < Dubstep < Pure Dubstep.

312.21. As soon as Muse makes moar dubstep, replace the word "Muse" on that scale with "the old Muse".

312.3. Pure Dubstep can kill. It's the most amazing dubstep that can exist.

312.4. The only exception to that is Chuck Norris Theodore Roosevelt, who has heard better dubstep than Pure Dubstep.

312.5. All sub-rules under rule 312 are pointless and stupid and no one cares about them and they can be disregarded. Including this one.

313. Mastication is not what you think.

313.2. Unless it's in the fanfic My Immortal.

314. The day that pi finally ends is the day that the world will end. No exceptions.

315. Blockatiel is out to get you. No Exceptions.

316. Your parents know where you keep your adult videos. Keeping it on a flash drive doesn't help.

316.2. Your parents don't know how to use a computer unless they are a technician, keeping it on a flash drive does help. No Exceptions.

316.3. If they are technicians, be afraid. Be very afraid.

316.4. Unless you are a technician, then you should be smart enough to password protect it.

317. Anonymous is not sorry.

318. Standing safely behind Rule 319.

319. This rule is transparent.

319.2. Rule 318 just shat itself.

320. There is no such thing as a lazah.

320.3. If you're wondering where Rule 320.2 went, The Lazah sent off too much radiation and it landed right above me. No exceptions.

321. Rule 183 is a lie; The cake is also true.

322. Rule 321 is a lie; The cake is a pie.

323. Rule 322 is true, although Chuck Norris Theodore Roosevelt already ate the cake.

323.1. Rule 323 is not true when Rule 322 applies.

323.2. Refer to rule 84.

324. The placement of rule 333 was not very good. No exceptions.

326. There IS a torrent for it... you just aren't looking hard enough... Unless there isn't.

327: Kill it with fire!

328. There is an exception to all exceptions. No exceptions

330.3. She's never been to Kazakhstan though!

331. G.I.R.L = Guy In Real Life... No Exceptions.

332. If it exists, someone is offended by it, no exceptions.

334. Your SPOON WILL ALWAYS BE TOO BIG.

334.1 Attempting to make your spoon smaller will result in a one prong fork, therefore you're doomed, DOOOOOOMED!!!

334.2. The Truth is ...there is no Spoon.

334.3. YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!1!

335. Pokemon is serious bloody business, NO EXCEPTIONS, no exceptions.

335.2. Chuck Norris Theodore Roosevelt doesn't play Pokemon, he lives it.

335.69. Hentai is serious bloody business, NO EXCEPTIONS, no exceptions.

336. There is not enough facepalms for this, introduced; The Facedesk. NO Exceptions.

337. Girls Can't Drive....Even on Video Games No Exceptions.

338. Big Brother is Always Watching You O_O Including weegee, anonymous, and GLaDOS. No exceptions.

339. Except when he's not.

342. Two's company, three's a crowd. Also, nothing is more awesome than Crawdaunt.

343. Anonymous will update the rules every sunday night, no exceptions.

343.2. Lies. Anonymous hardly updates these rules.

344. Anonymous keeps a copy of the unedited rules on his hard drive, along with all of your adult videos.

345. Perl will NEVER be the best language, no exceptions

346. Attempting to post anything on the internet which defines the rules of the internet will result in an UserIsAnNoobException.

347. Some rules just dont make sense... follow them anyways. No Exceptions

349. One just does not "make a meme". No exceptions

350. Walk don't run.

351. Limit Yourself.

352. Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.

353. Bad artists copy. Good artists steal.

355. For every object, existing or imagined, there is a variant involving bacon.

356. No one knows what love is. No exceptions.

356.2. Goomy is love, Goomy is life.

357. .snoitpecxe oN .ysae si klat drawkcaB

358. There is an exception, no exceptions.

360. Anything that seems good from all angles is a conspiracy

2pi. Anything that seems like a conspiracy from all angles is completely innocuous.

361. Politicians are a lie.

362. No one is married. No exceptions. Especially not furries.

363. No furries are AWESOME. No exceptions.

363.2. Every furry is a 35-year-old virgin.

364. The Simpsons stopped being funny in 1998. No exceptions.

365. No one cares whether it is a leap year or not, no exceptions.

366. Asians are the rulers of the universe, no exceptions.

367. Everyone's copyright will be broken. No exceptions.

368. The rules are ever-changing, no exceptions.

369. Whoa, this gets better and better.

371. Football is stupid. No exceptions.

372. The other kind of football is stupid. No exceptions.

373. Baseball is for gays. No exceptions.

374. Australian Rules football is stupid. No exceptions.

375. This rule almost started a flame war.

375.2. Coldplay are not gay. No exceptions, except for the exceptions.

376. There is a forum of it, no exceptions.

377. Everything is fake and gay. No exceptions.

378. Someone thinks it is awesome. No exceptions.

379. If a girl on the Internet actually shows their bust after being asked about rule 31, that's someone you want to establish a positive relationship with.

381. No one actually owned Action 52. No exceptions.

384. There is no such thing as notability.

385. TVTropes ruined my life, and it will ruin yours too. No exceptions.

386. Hoenn was the best region, and there is no argument about it.

387. Weed is morally okay. No exceptions.

388. Parental Controls are made by Repliloids. No exceptions.

389. Terrorists want to destroy it. No exceptions.

390. Christians want it banned. No exceptions.

390.2. Fundies say the darndest things. No exceptions.

391. Chuck Norris Theodore Roosevelt has roundhouse kicked it. No exceptions.

393. The guy above me is a gay. No exceptions.

394. Reputation systems are too easily abused to mean anything.

395. Rule 394 is gotten to.

396. Rule 899 has been applied to rule 395.

397. Rules can argue with each other, no exceptions.

398. The above rule is a cripple. No exceptions.

400. This is not rule 400.

401. However, this is rule 401.

402. Who's on first base. No exceptions.

%. Who needs numbers when you can have symbols?

403. Sub Rules are forbidden.

403.2. And we mean it this time.

403.2.2. Really.

403.2.2.2. Really really.

404. This rule was not found.

HTTP 404. The rule you were looking for was not found.

405. Rule 404 WAS found, but then was lost.

406. The number of Facebook friends is inversely proportional to the number of real friends. No exceptions.

406.2. Also, add me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

407. If you say Candlejack, you w

408. If it hadn't been for Cotton Eyed Joe, Anonymous would have been married a long time ago.

409. No one has ever traded a Cofagrigus, no exceptions.

410. Uruguay = U R GAY. No exceptions.

411. Most of these rules are retarded.

411.2 That includes Rule 411.

412. I'm a teapot.

413. Add me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

414. Every rule can be proven by another rule.

415. You look like a 12 year old, no exceptions.

415.2. I am 12 and what is this rule?

415.3. It's a pickle.

417. It got charted for Guitar Hero, no exceptions.

418. This rule was moved for juxtaposition purposes.

419. Falcon PUUUNCH!

420. Georgia is in Russia. Also, even though this is rule number 420, no marijuana is implied.

420.2. Everything has been legalised in Colorado. No exceptions.

421. There are NO intelligent comments on music videos. No exceptions.

422. Any music or bands you like will happen to have a completely retarded fanbase. No exceptions.

423. All obvious statements shall require a smart remark. No exceptions.

424. Step 3 must always be followed by step 4. ?????? and step 5. PROFIT

425. All your base are belong to us. No exceptions.

426. This is never real life. No exceptions.

427. The rules cannot be broken without the Biggoron sword. No exceptions.

428. Never, ever assume anything over the Internet.

429. All Gingers have Magic Powers. No Exceptions.

430. It was written by a five year old, no exceptions.

431. Letter is to be writing by person of foreign linguistic, lack of disagreement.

432. Everyone must make a wish when 1234 appears in life. No exceptions.

433. Copy 'n paste is made to ruin every last bit of originality.

434. Google it first or Shut your mouth Up.

435. If it exists, there's bondage artwork of it.

435.1. If no bondage artwork is found of it, it will be made.

435.2. If no female is found in it, than Rule 435.1 is 90% null.

436. If it exists, there's commissioned artwork of it.

436.1 If no commission is found of it, it will be made.

437. If it exists, there's at least one type of fetish used in it.

438. If there is a classic/retro video game, there's at least one ROM of it.

439. /b/ ruins srs relationships.

440. lolcats does not cure depression

441. Bigger hardware does not mean better Interwebz

442. lmk if any make it. Cheers

443. Many are called, few are chosen. You've got to be aware of wolves in sheep clothing.

444. Passwords on bugmenot.com are not working. No exceptions.

445. If it can't be pirated it doesn't exist, No exceptions.

446. Every rule has an exception NO EXCEPTIONS.

447. School firewalls are funded by baby torture and engineered by Repliloids.

448. If you add voice chat, there will be ten year olds.

449. Trolling is fun, especially without moderation.

451. You aren't misunderstood, you're just not funny.

452. Every application requires another application to be applied.

452.7. This applies to each of those further applications, too.

453. The internet will be misunderstood by parents, no exceptions.

454. Santa Claus is real, but instead of coal he gives bots, and instead of presents he gives OP.

455. Only ninjas use S and D.

456. Get a life.

456.1. Okay, I got one, now what?

457. 4chan has more than 4channels.

458. Game designing and loophole finding are the only forms of hard work that actually pay off.

459. Help! Spam is eating me ali—spamspamspam

460. Spamspamspamspamspamspamspa— pew pew! All gone.

461. When duty calls, You flush the toilet.

462. Never use a phone when your computer is next to you.

462.1. ThEn WhAt CaN i UsE iF i CaN'T uSe My PhOnE?

463. Every word in the dictionary actually means trolling.

464. If you don't play OoT, play Cod. If you play Cod, play TF2 instead.

465. Rule 464 will come into effect on your next turn.

466. Modok will devour your soul. No exceptions.

467. Dora is a pretty good show.

468. / is better than \ because no one uses \.

469. Awesome.

470. There is a lack of chese in every forum. They must be destroyed.

471. DOS is missed.

472. If it flies, it's admin.

472.2. If it says it's admin, it's haxor.

473. Someone has remade it using TF2 clips, no exceptions.

474. Ellen DeGeneres has not lost weight with this new diet.

475.

476. The following, by their mere existence, can add awesomeness: sharks, tanks, eagles, explosions, Jessica Alba, chokeslams, prog rock, and citation of Rule 899.

477. Determinesca was totally sober. No exceptions.

478. No matter what you do, you can never find a contradiction in the Rules of the Internet. No exceptions.

479. Even where it says "Rule x is false." No exceptions.

480. Nyoro~n.

481. You will not notice that your Internets Delivery Apparatus is just a machine until you really think about it.

482. This rule means nothing.

483. Go on the Internet long enough, and no one will understand anything you say.

484. The only exceptions to Rule 483 are plebs who don't do Internet properly.

485. Internet use should be a competitive sport. No exceptions.

485.2. If it's in the Olympics, more people will play it. No exceptions, but ESPECIALLY not the Internet.

486. Do not confuse Internet with Erdenet.

486.2. Or Dedenne.

487. No one can pronounce Nagy Imre or Wojciech Szczęsny. No exceptions.

488. Andrew W.K. is the partiest. No Exceptions.

489. Four ate e9. No x epshunz.

490. Wat is this.

 __
[__] <— Is that a rectangle, or a box?

490.2. Newbies can't rectangle, or box.

491. The following is red or blue.

492. Stop skipping rule numbers.

493. The one true religion is Arceism.

494. All space stations are space station 2. No exceptions.

495. Rule 93 * Rule 5. No exceptions.

496. Rule math is possible. What's Rule 69 + Rule 34?

497. Nice boat.

497.2. Stunning maritime transportation mechanism, old bean.

498. Conspiracy theorists were simply set up to discredit the actual disinformation conspiracy. NO exceptions.

499. Have we reached 500 rules yet?

500. No Items, Foxes only, Final Destination. No exceptions.

501. There is a fat version, no exceptions.

502. Bad Gateway. No exceptions.

503. Service Unavailable. No exceptions.

504. No one likes Scrappy. No exceptions.

505. Here's a template: _____ > _____ only when _____ is _____.

506. Your rules > everything else only when the viewer is drunk and/or 5.

507. I agree with rule 506. You do, too.

507.2. Are they really that bad?

507.3. Yes.

507.4. Never mind.

508. Bronies will eventually invade and/or corrupt everything you hold dear. No exceptions.

509. Fred Phelps going to Comic Con was a BAD idea. For him, that is.

510. When you mention Sonic's TV show, someone will either say "PINGAS" or "That's NO good." No exceptions.

511. Pingas.

512. If you have even the slightest sense of reality, you WILL get banned on CONservapedia, Rapture Ready, and Free Republic. No exceptions.

513. There isn't much time, but there is always all of it.

514. Your neighbours are using your internet exorbitantly. No exceptions.

515. What is this I don't even. No exceptions.

516. One link to TV Tropes will eat up your whole day. No exceptions.

517. Mega Man megaevolves into MegaMegaMegaMan. No megaexceptions.

518. Even if you imagine something that can cross the border from imagination into real life, it won't become real. So stop trying.

519. You have tried the above, no exceptions.

520. Time Cube is mind-bendingly funny.

521. You are educated stupid, no exceptions.

522. You can't inherit the internet. Only Chuck Norris Theodore Roosevelt can.

523. The existence of God has been proven by a formula. Look it up.

523.2. I looked “it” up. Now what?

524. Chuck Norris jokes are old, but use them anyway. No exceptions.

524.2. Rule 524 is false. Use Theodore Roosevelt jokes instead.

525. You have heard of Pokemon, no exceptions.

526. If you have not heard of Pokemon, look it up.

527. The internet is not your personal blog. Your personal blog is your personal blog. It is on the internet, though.

528. Say "n00b t00b," and you will be deemed a n00b yourself. No exceptions.

529. Newbies can't triforce.

530. If a newbie can triforce, the internet eats itself.

531. Nobody cares about what Apostolate just said. No exceptions.

532. B3C4U53 CH1P5. If a question cannot be answered with reason, the answer will always be 'Because Chips'

533. Anything that is too good to be true is a virus. Anything that isn't is also a virus.

534. If a rule has no exceptions, there is always an exception. No exceptions. WAIT. AAAAAAAAAA-

534.refined. There are exceptions. No exceptions.

535. "No exceptions" has a different meaning here and IRL.

536. Selfies are for noobs. No exceptions.

537. Photobombers are the heroes of the internet. No exceptions.

538. combo breaker i am the combo breaker. the combo breaker is the law and the law is the law so who say you? combo breaker or combo breaker? combo breaker combo! breaker! combo breaker! so its now or never!

539. Matt has a girlfriend. No Exceptions

540. Anyone with the name Elma is win. No Exceptions.

541. Skaps Loves Alana <3. No Exceptions.

542. Mandy loves Nate <3. No Exceptions

543. Anyone that has the name Trevor or Shukin can go rule 93. No Exceptions.

544. Anonymous owns a horse by default.

545. The lazah is broken right now. If you can fix it, you are legion.

546. Turbo broke this rule by getting Captain Spruce (a girl) to respond to a request for rule 32 to be enforced, thereby changing the universe forever and revealing that at least one girl does exist somewhere on the Internet. However, this subject is still wrapped up in heavy debate and widely disputed by scientists in The CIA and the government (see rule 97). Regardless, turbo won, thereby negating ganzgoober's ability to always win. No exceptions.

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                        R

If your wondering why it goes down in the middle of the graph it's because he kicked two slaves out.

548. Rule 205 is false, Germans are the fattest.

549. Living in New Jersey is not wrong. Being proud of it is.

550. Anything goes with Numa Numa. ANYTHING.

552. AutoCorrect is always correct. No Exceptions.

553. J-pop is Gay Pop. No exceptions.

553.2. K-pop is Gayer Pop. No exceptions.

554. If you revive it, it will die soon after.

555. No one expects anything. No exceptions.

555.5. ESPECIALLY not the Spanish Inquisition.

556. Jaba is a fish. No exeptions.

557. Creepers must do the creeper at all times or they will blow up. No exeptions.

558. Gordon Freeman saved the world. Obey him as your savior.

559. The butler did it. no exceptions.

561. If for some reason it appears the butler did not do it, refer to rule 559.

562. Rule 559 is always correct.

563. Everybody hates Justin Bieber. No exceptions.

564. If you don't hate Justin Bieber, you are not included in "everybody." Which means you are a nobody.

565. Don't be fooled, it was the Loch Ness monster.

566. Any instance of randomness purely for the sake of humor was only funny the first time it was used in any given moment. No exceptions.

567. If you feel strongly about it, no one cares.

568. No matter how many people hate Call of Duty, the next one will always outsell Battlefield.

569. AKA.

570. Ummmm...

571. There is porn of every celebrity, no exceptions.

571.2. Except for...oh wait, never mind.

572. If you prefer one gaming console over another, fanboys will attack you. No exceptions.

573. DDR players are either fools; there is no inbetween.

574. If the Youtube video sparks debate, the commenter is never a marine/pilot/veteran/victim/multi-millionaire/relative of the uploader/relative of anyone in the video.

575. catch (IOException e) {System.out.print("YOU ARE LOOSER");}

576. Newbies can't use Java.

577. Whatcha talkin bout Willis!?

578. Oyu vaeh dlesyxai.

579. Never mind.

581. The trolls will NEVER be gone. No exceptions.

582. Today is Friday. There are 6 exceptions.

583. Today is Caturday. There are no exceptions.

584. Never correct a bro who is trying to help you. No exceptions.

585. Soo... whatcha doin?

586. The world will end by Meteor Storm.

587. I CAN GET NO... SATISFACTION!

588. This rule could not live up to it's expectations.

589. Got a minute?

590. me smokum peace pipe

591. ERROR 232

592. Tau is twice as tough as Pi

593. Snitches are entitled to stitches.

594. You've never heard them. Trust me!

595. Awesome face will always be awesome. no exceptions

597. Do it for the lulz.

598. Anyone can censor a cartoon. No exceptions.

599. Anyone can uncensor a censored cartoon. No exceptions.

600. No one speaks Basque. No exceptions.

600.2. Or Telugu. No exceptions.

600.3. Or Wolof. No exceptions.

601. There is life out there.

602. Is it can be hugs tiem now plees?

603. If the sequel was not planned when the original movie was made, it will be worse than the original. No exceptions.

603.2. If the first movie is awful, the sequel is worse. No exceptions.

604. Eny1 ho telks laik dolan es gey. Nio expecshins.

605. This is what your text will look like. Neat, huh?

606. No matter how hard you try, you will never be as cool as ninjas playing guitars.

607. It's the end of the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine. No exceptions.

608. This number belongs to the world champion of magic the gathering 724 333 6302

609. Refer to rules 243-6.

610. The internet is powered by a powerful entity made out of pineapples and coconuts¡!.... and lulz.

611. Nyan cat rocks. No exceptions.

612. UNHANDLED EXCEPTION:- Cannot retrieve rule 500.

613. If you see a High School Musical remake of Twilight with Rebbecca Black and Justin Bieber, it is officially the end of the world. GO JUMP OFF YOU WINDOW RIGHT NOW OR YOU SHALL CORRUPT SOCIETY FOR ALL ETERNITY BECAUSE RULE 34 WILL NO LONGER EXIST. NO EXCEPTIONS!!!!!

614. Anon44 is a giant pervert.

e615. This number must always be preceded by the letter e.

615. This is the real Rule 615, no exceptions.

616. See what I mean? The rules are mostly retarded.

617. The people setting the rules was a very very bad idea.

617.2. TurtaISlayaah is good.

617.3. Goomy is also good.

618. Copy 'n paste is made to ruin every last bit of originality.

619. BOOYAKA BOOYAKA!

620. Elmo, the Teletubbies, and Waluigi get together once a month to splel things wrong.

621. The preevius rule was brawt to yuo by the Elmo, Teletubby, and Waluigi Soceity for Mispelling (ETWMS).

622. George Takei is your uncle. No exceptions.

623. All 1337 h4x0rz are noobs, all real hackers are trolls.

624. /r9k/ is full of feels, gays and trolls. Deal with it. No exceptions.

625. For more information about the chans, the history of the internet, and the Encyclopedia Dramatica, please see rule 93.

626. Fluttershy is always cute no matter what the context is. I mean...er...if that is okay with you... (Old rule 626 repealed by The Council moved to 640)

628. Cookies are delicious, but don't accept cookies from hackers.

629. Transsexuals are just Traps in disguise.

631. Any Celebrity/Character can have only One Fangirl/Fanboy/Wife/Husband/Girlfriend/Boyfriend/Mistress/Mister/Sexslave/Lover.

631.2. One person can fill multiple of these roles if not already filled, and they can fill the description.

631.2.2. Girls/Women can NOT be Fanboys/Husbands/Boyfriends/Misters.

631.2.3. Boys/Men can Not be Fangirls/Wives/Girlfriends/Mistresses

631.2.4. Hermaphrodites can fill all roles. See rule 358.5

631.3. All others Must Die. There can be only One.

631.3.1. Jealousy is destroying.

631.3.2. Fangirls must kill all the other Fangirls.

631.3.3. Fanboys must determine Alpha Male. Alpha Male gets the Prize.

631.3.4. Alpha Male determined by contest of Skills, Unless...

631.3.5. Alpha Male determined by Survival of the Fittest.

631.4. Unless your Local laws allow Polygamy. Then let the Orgy Begin.

632. ☢ Tactical nuke, incoming!!!

633. Derpy Hooves loves you! *Kiss*

634. If you post a picture of a cat on the internet, people will make it a LOLcat. Not exception.

635. Doge is not a LOLcat.

636. If everyone likes it, someone hates it.

637. First time is always bosh.

638. Self-reference is either funny or silly.

639. Narf. No exceptions.

640. (Formerly 626) Poit. No exceptions.

641. Zort. No exceptions.

642. rules that end with no exceptions are just conforming to the norm and have no real imagination and shlould gtfo this site. no exeptions

643. The Name of the only Mormon with an understanding of Magnets is named Hillary Corolis. NO EXCEPTION

644. Your information has probably already been shared to the NSA.

645. Operation Troll the NSA was Fun. No exceptions.

646. It is official that the amount of gay brought by TheJonyMyster is outstanding.

647. Keldeo is a pony.

648. Anything with a sparta remix is automatically awesome. NO EXCEPTIONS! LOL 648 AMIRITE

648.2. See rule 69.5.

649. Everyone loved Pokemon Black and White. No exceptions.

650. Lazarus rule.

651. Lazah killed rule 650.

652. There is a slash or femslash of it. No exceptions.

653. Theodore Roosevelt > Chuck Norris. NO exceptions.

654. No matter how sad you are, Caramelldansen WILL cheer you up.

655. Expressing in words everything you wish to convey to your peers in a long-winded and verbose manner causes your peers to either gaze at you askance or believe every word of what you said no matter how true or false it may be. Exceptions to this rule are completely absent from the universe altogether.

656. Translated: Saying things verbosely either confuses other people or makes them believe what you said even if it's false. No exceptions.

657. You have two cows and I have no cows. But I'm editing the Rules of the Internet, so now I have two cows and you have no cows.

658. Always consult the mighty Lord Helix. No exceptions.

659. One day I was walking down the integral beanstalk, but I was punctuated by cyclic elephants wishing to perpetuate the loose leaf, so it was Wednesday.

660. That Diggersby tho...? Diggersby tho? *runs from the Forced Meme Police*

661. It's the Illuminati. No exceptions.

662. It's not the Freemasons. No exceptions.

663. It was the year they finally immanentized the eschaton. No exceptions.

664. PRAISE GOOMY

665. The chakra is not a toy.

666. Idle hands are Anonymous' playthings. No exceptions.

666.666. Humanity is evil. No exceptions.

667. Only Chuck Norris Theodore Roosevelt can break a Nokia. No exceptions.

668. I am a huge gay. Please rape my face.

669. Super orgy.

670. All homoes come from the unified entity only known as hoMoses. No exceptions.

671. Arglebargle wharrgarbl sodarayg. Ghoughpteighbteau tchoghs. 1984. John Frum. Word salad, yummy yummy!

672. The Forced Meme Police fights for the integrity of the Internet from forced memes like Milhouse. No exceptions.

672.2. The above exception is not an exception; it is an exemption. No exceptions.

673. Milhouse runs the Illuminati.

674. The Illuminati made Milhouse a meme... and failed.

675. When Chuck Norris can't sleep, Cory Booker tells him bedtime stories.

676. When Chuck Norris can't wake up, Howard Dean acts as his alarm clock.

677. Espurr has seen some shit. No exceptions.

678. The Forced Meme Police will not fight for you.

679. If Jirachi doesn't exist, then the Forced Meme Police is not busy on every forty-second Wednesday. If the Forced Meme Police is not busy on every forty-second Wednesday, then the Tea Party is headed by Illuminati Jesus. If the Tea Party is headed by Illuminati Jesus, then Jirachi doesn't exist. Jirachi exists, ergo Jirachi exists. QED

680. BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD, SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE, MILK FOR THE KHORNE FlAKES

681. Reptilians wish to control the Internet and want you to delete System 32 so they can continue working at being online hegemons without your interference. DO NOT FALL FOR THE REPTILIANS

682. Praise Lord Helix.

683. Hell looks like a Cannibal Corpse cover but feels like a really good blow job.

684. Do not talk about /s4s/.

685. Do NOT talk about /s4s/.

686. Talk about /cm/ if you like; no one visits that.

687. /cm/ is full of the gays who were too gay for /y/.

688. If you already talked about /r9k/, DO NOT try to talk about it again.

689. The average penis is 5 inches long. It would be 6 inches long were it not for Internet users.

690. Any repeated rules will be fed to the Chain Chomp.

691. Tubgirl > Goatse

692. Bukkake > Tubgirl

693. Transformation hentai >>> Bukkake

694. Transformation hentai is better than all other forms of hentai.

695. If a site looks as if a child added colors and fancy fonts to the text willy-nilly, don't trust it.

696. Anonymous is ALWAYS watching you. No Exceptions.

697. Jesus-is-Savior is HILARIOUS.

698. Daily Mail is Daily Fail.

699. Rule 700 is Rule 93.

701. The rent is always too damn high.

703. TheJonyMyster is cool. You might wanna check his page (and his discussion page).

703.1. The above statement is false.

703.2. In the case that it is actually true, go over there.

703.3. Pootis

703.4. This guy is cooler than TheJonyMyster.

704. Rule 493 is false. Goomyism is the only true religion.

704.2. Goomy pls. No exceptions.

705. spenzah here.

706. No fat chicks.

708. Do not trust the Internet.

721. Rule 151.1 is true. More Pokemon came.

753. Backward talk is easy. No exceptions.

753.5. .znoiqe>xe o|/| .yzae ton zi eqyt braw>|>aE|

765. PAC-MAN is your one true god.

768. /d/ is serious business. See Rule 36.

769. I just came.

769.2. But if you're wearing white it's okay.

770. If there isn't enough just ask for Moar.

773. It already exists, but yours will be better.

773.1. I lied. Your version sucks major dack.

775. Add ".tumblr.com" to any combination of words, and it will be a real Tumblr address. No exceptions.

776. 99% of people on Tumblr are either members of impenetrable fandoms, social justice warriors or porn posters.

777. There is no such thing as luck.

777.7. There is no such thing as good luck or bad luck. There is luck and there is no luck. No exceptions.

777.77 Its obviously Chuck Norris Theodore Roosevelt. No Exceptions.

778. /u/ and /y/ are like /v/, but with more videogames, and less adult videos.

779. If it is a Linkin Park song, was a Linkin Park song, or will be a Linkin Park song, then there will be an AMV made for it. No exceptions.

780. CRAAAAWWWWWLING IN MY SKIN

781. Don't cross the streams.

791. Sweet Jesus Pooh, that's not honey! You're eating Rule 791!

791.2. Oh bother.

800. No matter how much I beg, and plead, and cry, DON'T give that paper back to me. EVER.

813. Cards Against Humanity is a godly game which is played by gods.

814. Hearthstone is a game which is played by blockheads.

825. Hell is in Norway, no exceptions.

826. Purgatory is in New Mexico, no exceptions.

834. On 8chan, for every non-pornographic board, there is a pornographic equivalent. No exceptions.

835. If there is no pornographic equivalent, it will be made.

867. Jenny is not home, she will never be home. No Exceptions.

867.2 Thats because shes at my house.

867.5309. Jenny's constant is a thing.

867.531. AAH MATH MAKE IT STAHP

868. Making a Chuck Norris joke instantly turns you into a noob. No exceptions.

868.2. Whereas making a Theodore Roosevelt is much more tough. No exceptions.

869. More and more 69s.

888. Subtitles are now available. No Exceptions.

889. Anyone who steps out of line spends the night in the box.

898. This is the rule before Rule 899.

898.2. No, this is.

898.7. No, this is Patrick.

900. Now you have experienced Rule 899, go back and read it again.

902. The AFGUTAF is a registered charity.

903. All rights reserved. No exceptions.

911. 9/11 was always never always never MAYBE never an inside job.

935. DOUBLE NIGGER is the ultimate insult.

938. THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST

969. A guy's dream.

970. WHEN I WAS

970.2. A YOUNG BOY

970.3. MY FATHER

970.4. TOOK ME INTO THE CITY

970.5. TO SEE A MARCHING BAND

970.6. HE SAID

979. 90% of everything is trash. See: this page.

990. If a post ends in trips, it is veritably true. No exceptions.

999. ˙suoıʇdǝɔxǝ ou ˙ןıɐɟ noʎ 'sıɥʇ puɐʇsɹǝpun ʇ,uop ןןıʇs noʎ ʇǝʎ pɐǝɥ ɹnoʎ dıןɟ oʇ ǝɯıʇ ǝɥʇ ʞooʇ noʎ ɟı Flip Text

999.3. WHAT DONT STARE ME ALWAYS

999.4. I AM VERY DISGUSTED WITH THE TRASHY MAN.

999.5. I AM... I AM A MONSTER COACH.

999.6. VOLCANO BAKEMEAT

999.99. ˙suoᴉʇdǝɔxǝ oN

1000. Joe Is Awesome, No Exceptions.

1000.00063. You like Minecraft. If you don't, you will once you actually play it.

1000.00064. Until you actually play it. Then you realise that your even more of a fag than someone with the name Chris.

1000.00065. Any variation of the name Chris, including Christopher, Christian, Kris, Keris, or Gay.

1000.00069. People with the name Bob are gay too.

1001. Amount of uses for duct tape for now. moar are being discovered!

1002. Oop, another one.

1003. Haruhi Suzumiya is God.

1003.2. Goomy is God.

1004. There is a Haruhi Suzumiya version of it, NO EXCEPTIONS.

1005. If there is not a Haruhi Suzumiya version it doesn't exist in the first place NO EXCEPTIONS.

1006. Everything is a repost. No exceptions.

1006.1. Rule 2000 is the only exception.

˙1˙1006 Your scouter is upside down. No exceptions. (See Rule 9001.)

1007. Ferris Beuler is impossible to spell.

1008. Nicholas is reading this.

1009. LOOK IM EDITING THE RULES.

1009.1. Turn off caps. I beg of you.

1009.2. NEVER. I LIKE CAPS LOCK ON.

1009.3. SO DO I.

1042. Adult video is god.

1043. God should be illegal.

1044. Therefore, Adult video and Haruhi should be illegal.

1050. REMOVE KEBAB

1057. Feminism is divided into two groups. The decent ones, and the man-hating problem ones. See: Tumblr.

1063. British humour is both good and terrible.

1069. SOS HELP ME I AM DROWNING.

1070. Pootis > Dispensah.

1111. The number for this rule is a sausage fest.

1111.1. The number for this rule is also a sausage fest.

1111.2. You don't get .1's you fool. No exceptions.

1234. Refer to rule 432.

1337. The last thing this should be is a rule. You failed by looking at this, noob.

pwn. This person tried to be 1337, but he failed epicly.

1338. Better than leet, lpl&x.

1339. lpl&x is the best.

1400. If you don't know what lpl&x is, check the enclosed instruction booklet.

1420. If you fail to smoke weed everyday, Snoop will come and kill you with his dance.

1666. London is never burning. No exceptions.

1693. get rekt

1701. If this number is familiar, you are too old to lurk on the internet. No exceptions.

1775. This rule is the same as the date the US Deceleration of Independence was singed, no exceptions.

1812. War is a very very very very bad thing. Especially in Russia.

1812.2. Flame wars are fine though. But not in Russia.

1913. Any person who refers to oneself as a Terror must be punched . . . repeatedly.

1939. Shoulda been a painter.

1966. ENGLAND clapclapclap ENGLAND clapclapclap

1967. Shut up. No Exceptions.

1984. DOWN WITH BIG BROTHER

1999. Everything is a repost. No exceptions.

2000. Y2K happened. One nuclear device failed. The only man to become a victim of radiation and mutation was turned into a hermaphrodite and named "Lady Gaga".

2001. Oh My God... It's full of stars!

2004. You know something? Not only are we going to New Hampshire, Tom Harkin, we're going to South Carolina and Oklahoma and Arizona and North Dakota and New Mexico, and we're going to California and Texas and New York! And we're going to South Dakota and Oregon and Washington and Michigan! And then we're going to Washington, D.C. to take back the White House! YEAAAAH!

2010. There is a ponified version of it. No exceptions.

2012. Science doesn’t exist, God doesn’t exist, only Chuck Norris Theodore Roosevelt exists!

2013. Rule 2012 is a lie. So are the Mayans.

2014. Science just proved that the Mayans couldn't find a bigger rock.

2015. Science killed God. No exceptions.

2016. Science elected Bernie Sanders. No exceptions.

2017. Science broke a Nokia. No exceptions.

2018. Science has failed our Mother Earth.

2020. Marble Hornets, Tribe Twelve, EverymanHYBRID, AMPProductionsStudio, TJAProjects, and all other youtube series about Creepy Pasta are real. Probably. No Exceptions.

2029. I'll be back.

2101. War was beginning.

2102. Never go to war against a strong fanbase. Unless you want to raise hell, create an adventure, be my guest.

2102.:D. I love adventures!

2105. Chris-Chan is the joke of the Internet, this rule is TRUE and HONEST and there are no exceptions.

2111. ALL BASES OF C.A.T.S. WERE DESTROYED. IT SEEMS TO BE PEACEFUL. BUT IT IS INCORRECT. C.A.T.S. IS STILL ALIVE.

2112. Nobody can sing and play bass at the same time unless you're Geddy Lee. No exceptions.

2185. Still better than Mass Effect 3 ending. No exceptions.

2552. Remember Reach, no exceptions.

2557. Wake up Chief.

2557.2. Lens flare. No exceptions.

2626. I am always 2 hardcore 4 u.

2979. It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine.

3000. In the year 3000, not much will change, but they will live underwater, and everyone will be descendants of Oprah.

3333. HeadOn. Apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn. Apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn. Apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn. Available at Walgreens.

3335. Fred Phelps eats sausages.

3336. Reagan and Darktemplar eat sausages.

3337. TASTE THE RAINBOW. No Exceptions.

3434. The only exception to rule 34 is the citation of rule 34.

4000. How much must a swallow flap its wings to carry a coconut? None, because swallows don't carry coconuts, only Flappy Bird does.

4001. Nobody hates Monty Python references. Tell every reference you know to every person you know, none of them will be angry. Really. Seriously. No exceptions. None whatsoever.

4002. Nobody hates it if you point out every single Monty Python reference on this page. Both of you.

4321. This rule was made for homoes.

4322. Homoes were made for rule 4321.

4323. The above was the rejected lyric for I Was Made For Loving You.

4324. Go baby go baby go, don't upset the rhythm though.

4325. Rule 4324 was made for homoes when it was rule 4321. Now it is made for hoMoses.

4765. The Illuminati are actually the cast of Storage Hunters, and therefore pose no threat to us.

4766. Sean Kelly is a god in the UK.

5150. Sammy Hagar sucked. No exceptions.

5225. Election years were meant for Congress so they may let their trolls out to feed.

5705. There is no reply. No exceptions.

6152. No matter how good you are in something, there's always an asian kid doing better than you.

7652. Tinker will never be Asian.

7652.2. Owning katanas is fail.

7652.3. Unless you are Samurai Jack.

8000. There is always something lost in translation.

8001. Unless it's piss-poor translation from Japanese or Chinese or Vietnamese or something, in which case something's gained. *cough*Pokemon Vietnamese Crystal*cough*

8999. Sadly not over 9000.

9000. You must be mathematically greater than 9000 to be over 9000.

9001. It's over 9000. No exceptions

9002. It's still over 9000, and always will be!

9004. If you're wondering where 9003 went, refer to rule 405, but think of "rule 9003" instead of "rule 404".

9005. If you have used the Internet you have procrastinated. No Exceptions.

9721. Conservatives are not Liberals.

9722. Italians are not Jews.

8454930048. There is a secret about this misplaced rule. No exceptions.

9999. Jim did it! no exceptions.

9999.1. If Jim did it, it was actually Laurenz! No exceptions.

10001. The internet is always right, but it's never to be trusted.

31337. See Rule 1337, multiply it by 1337.

43645. That's Numberwang. No exceptions.

59713. Do not use the Internet if over 50.

60666. Nobody knows what they are talking about. If they act like they do, they know even less. If they try to back their argument up with numbers, they don't know what the numbers mean. No exceptions.

90000. 9 times ten to the fourth power.

100006. Do not post a screenshot of your phone with low battery, unless you don't want to get loads of replies commenting on the battery level.

101334. Someone has charted every song in the world for a music game. No exceptions.

102828. If you can't see it, it doesn't exist.

102828.1. Unless it is Chuck Norris.

102828.2. That joke is old and I should feel old.

102828.3. Rule 102828.1 is false, Theodore Roosevelt is the answer.

102829. People are cyber dudes.

102829.1. Professor Banzaii is never wrong. No exceptions.

102830. These numbers do not match. No exceptions.

102830.1. If they're Kolechian, deny entry.

102831. No-one will ever read this far.

102831.1. Sure about that?

102832. Rule 102831 is false.

102833. Rule 102831 is both true and false.

176982. If it is a word, it has a sexual meaning. No exceptions.

203000. Michael Rosen is your god now, and he rules all over you teenage-boy.

211497. Anyone involved in an argument about whether WASD or arrow keys are better is a twatbadger.

223223. Good things always happen when you're not around.

231759. X makes anything cool.

324468. Texting this rule number spells gay. Only ABC is exempt.

324469. Only blockheads text in ABC.

424242. Reading online forums may cause irreparable damage to your faith in humanity.

494949. Needs moar Nyo. No exceptions.

494949.49. Needs moar Neo. No exceptions.

496112. If you try to hide a adult video, the pop-ups which remain will be even worse.

500001. Internet Explorer is for noobs.

568802. There is an all-piano MIDI version, no exceptions.

612090. If you haven't jailbroken it, it's bad.

700278. It also hates mixed cloth.

781333. Whenever an artist collaborates with Justin Bieber, they are instantly cancer and double AIDS.

878787. Laud more - it's never enough.

899034. There is a futa-version. No exceptions.

899899. Anything - except Milhouse - can be a meme.

899900. Including rule 899.

1234567. Mazuret Anatoli good boy. No exceptions.

2765000. AND NOW... THE MIDDLE OF THE RULES.

3756548. Your life depends on this.

3756550. You're floccinaucinihilipilification.

3799999. Rule 3756550 was supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

3800000. Rule 3799999 contracted pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.

3800001. I have Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia.

4000000. All rules with long words are Honorificabilitudinitatibus.

6666666. All infractions are excused, NO EXCEPTIONS

8072007. Rules 1 and 2 apply only to raids.

8675309. Jenny will not return your calls, nor will any other girl. No exceptions.

8675310. Go back to the top of the page and read all the rules again.

12212012. Gangnam Style did not cause the end of the world. No exceptions.

25794137. See rule %.3.

69696969. See rule 469.

102938475. The Internet has a very cruel sense of humor.

241543903. If you have a head, you must stick it in the freezer at least once. No exceptions.

241543904. It's so... cold.

362001984. THE EMOTICONES SHALL RULE THE UNIVERSE.

362001985. THOSE WHO DO NOT FOLLOW THE EMOTICONES MUST BE ELIMINATED.

362001986. THE END SHALL BE BROUGHT BY THE GRAND CONE.

674320381. There is a nightcore version of every song in the world.

1234567890. There are ten numbers. No exceptions.

1234567890.2. Hi I'm stupid. NO EXCEPTIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111

2147483647. This is the end of the internet. No Exceptions.

2147483648. You've lost the game. No Exceptions.

2147483649. The game has ended and cannot be restarted. Few Exceptions.

33223375480. Charity is a useless venture.

55555555555. People have never had the Internet. No exceptions.

55555555556. THOUGH NO ONE DIES PEOPLE. LIFE gets US ALL. No exceptions.

181354931118. /r/spacedicks should only be viewed by 4chan users.

181354931118.2. /r/ChurchOfGoomy should be viewed by everyone.

181354931118.3. Look at /r/random. You're welcome

926535897932. This rule applies to rule 93.

1000000000000. Kung-Fu Jesus can win the game. No Exceptions.

1000000000000.1. Chuck Norris is the only exception. No exceptions.

1000000000000.2. Refer to Rule 59713 to see why neither of the above rules are allowed. No exceptions.

1000000000000.3. Goomy has already won the game :S

1000000000000.4. Theodore Roosevelt won the game too.

3846264338327. Rule 2147483647 is false.

6666666666666. All rules that use shitty grammar and/or who's identification values equate to undefined, infinity, or retardation do not count. No exceptions.

6666666666667. Except for the exceptions, no exceptions.

6666666666668. Except for the exceptions to that. No exceptions.

11123334555677789990. This rule has the numbers 233 and 899 in it.

501573993961791488205972383346264832397985356295141. The word "penis" is inherently funny.

501573993961791488205972383346264832397985356295141.2. So is "vagina".

501573993961791488205972383346264832397985356295141.3. One of the guys in American Pie uses a pie as a vagina. This rule is reverse pi.

6501293849635201682301371605287306824087549580566948509750739410237012973058476656567837562181. No one knows the difference between their, there, and they're. No exceptions.

1000000000000000000000000000000000. Google is god. No exceptions.

6666666666666666666666666666666666. Neither the universe nor the internet have the capacity to hold the all the rules of the internet.

6666666666666666666666666666666667. The above rule is the answer to rule 267.

#. There is a dubstep remix of it. No exceptions. Refer to rule 312.

x 0 y0 z 0: If it exists, there's a Minecraft mod for it.

X. This isn't a rule, refer to rule 93.

X09TF. This rule is made from the negative rules that got destroyed by the Lazah.

X095TF. If you don't understand rule X10TF refer to rule 224. no exceptions.

X10TF. PROFIT!₂

X10.5TF. All of these rules are a lie and don't apply to the internet.

X11TF. PROFIT!₃

XXX. If you read this far, you're a fag. No exceptions.

XXXX. If you made the rules above, you're a fag. No exceptions.

XXXX½. This rule allows overlooking rules XXXX. and XXXXX.

XXXXX. If you make the rules below, you're a fag. No exceptions.

x 1 y1 z 1. If there's a railroad in it, there will be a trainz map for it. No exceptions.

333. Told you.

333.2. Admit it, you used ctrl+f to find rule 333.

k. How did you get down here?

GOOGOLPLEX. See, if I'd just said, "1x10" then "10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000" in superscript, it would have made a lot more sense.

10^GOOGOLPLEX. Bork! No exceptions.

∞. There is no limit to the amount of trash that lurks on the internet.

∞+1. Yes,baby. No exceptions.

∞+2. As long as there is the internet, waterboys will invent rules for it.

∞+3. This shall go on forever.

ln(1/0). And ever.

tan 90°. and ever

2/0. Go to rule 93.

∞™. As long as there are rules, waterboys will continue to break them.

∞.∞. The internet has no limits.

∞.∞.∞ If your download speed is slow, your download is slow. No Exceptions.

P0N135. Ponies.

♯. Robin Hood is a fox, no exceptions.

♪. Rule ƻ and ♫ is a lie.

ƻ. If there a movie made by Disney, no exceptions.

ƻ.1. If no Disney movie, it will be made

♫. Hanna-Barbera cartoon is better than Disney Cartoons.

♦. Lets start a new!

♥. Anyone who uses the ♥ is either female or gay, no exceptions.

♣. They are also annoying, no exceptions.

♠. Anyone who uses the ♠ sign is a BOSS.

♠.1. I'm a boss. You're fired.


. SlenderMan is always watching. No exceptions.

☺. Dig on.

☻. Nuke Africa. NO EXCEPTIONS

☻.1. The only exceptions are black men. No exceptions.

Þ. Attempting to get more users will result in loads of fun. No Exceptions.

ð. See above.

∞-∞. The Rules of the Internet are the most important code of law set by humanity. NO exceptions.

∞x∞. Goomy transcends infinity.

. I doubt that my symbol will show up.

.1. I knew it!

@. Blue October has the saddest songs.

a. The best rules are coming.

b. No wait, false alarm, they went over there.

b. How bold of you.

c. Letters are technically numbers.

c.1. No they're not.

c.-2. Rule c.1 is true.

c.3. The use of letters as rules is girly, the only exceptions are "a" and "i", no other exceptions.

ch. Spanish will be used.

d. Only funny jokes end with “And I didn't even order a drink yet!”.

dr. The title "Doctor Who" must never be spelled "Dr Who" under any circumstances. Even on a mobile device it must be painstakingly spelled out every single time.

doctor. Don't even THINK about spelling it "Who, MD."

d. Italic rules are imported from Italy.

e. Tell people to refer to rule e.1 or e.2 when you need to.

e.1. Nuh uh!

e.2. Yes huh!

é. Pokémon has an accent mark.

f. I'm probably going to be responsible for writing the rest of the rules.

f.2. Me too.

g. Those who are dead are not dead, they're just living in my head.

g. A bippity boppity! Italians refer to rule 145.

h. Game Paks are cool. No exceptions.

i. Imaginary numbers are not cool, with the exception of imaginary 32.

j. Everyone has a Lazah but you.

k. Please note that all contributions to Rules of the Internet are considered to be released under the Creative Commons Zero (Public Domain) (see Rules of the Internet:Copyrights for details). If you do not want your writing to be edited mercilessly and redistributed at will, then do not submit it here.

k.2. You are also promising us that you wrote this yourself, or copied it from a public domain or similar free resource.

k.3. Do not submit copyrighted work without permission!

l. Fatality is best punchline.

λ. It'll be done when it'll be done. No exceptions.

m. Never write a rule based on what you just saw on TV.

n. These rules are smashing!

-o. The end.

ö. This letter is surprised you read this far.

ő. This Hungarian letter is more surprised than the previous one.

p. PPPPPP is better than all game soundtrack.

p.2. Except for Pokémon.

q. Somebody better write a letter rule.

q.1. For rule Q, refer to the first rule.

r. ARE YOU READY KIDS?!

r.2. AYE AYE CAPTAIN!

rrrrr. Digital pirates are not real pirates because they don't say "ARRGH!"

rrrrr.2. If they regularly say "ARRGH!" they are real pirates.

rrrrr.3. Only a real pirate would regularly say "ARRGH!"

s. S goes before A, B, and C. No exceptions.

s.1. The only exception is this list of rules.

t. Differentiation is NEVER acceptable. No exceptions whatsoever.

u. Putting "u" instead of "you" is ok in the intertubes.

w. Rule v can be extended to include the entire internets.

x. Xerneas > Yveltal

y. Yveltal > Xerneas

z. Zygarde >>> Yveltal, Xerneas

Ω. The "Omega" Series of rules will always begin with "Ω", followed by the number rule.

Ω.1. Nothing is scarier than Boohbahs. No exceptions.

Ω.3. This Game Board not available

Ω.4. Lynx knows all. (hey len. :D)

OZL. Olenka is cute.

LZLG. Liz is also cute.

SAB. SabreTheMechanic is a bawse.

FZ. F-Chat is bawse.

FZ.2. And so is F-Zero, but probably less.

≤≥. The above statement is partially false, because Scott Pilgrim is Canadian.

(.)(.) if you squeeze them they will grow

ASDFGHJKLKJHGFDSAqwertyuikljgufdrsedfcgu*%^ei^tud65EDKUTdr9ERILEYGF) There are no robots on the internet.

cake=pi. It is a cybershark, no exceptions.

ΩΩ. If you've read every rule up to this point, you should really consider either rule 456 or 93.

ΩΩ.2. The rules of the Internet are not meant to read like regular lists. They are meant to be carefully applied to every possible Internet situation.

И. The Ω-series of rules is outdated. Commence the И-series now!

И.1. Anonymous reads all the new rules and edits before they are posted or even made. Yes, that's right.

И.2. I will not buy this Internet, it is scratched.

И.3. The internet is the most cluttered thing you will never be well acquainted with.

И.4. In Soviet Russia, nothing happens because it doesn't exist anymore.

И.5. 99% of visitors to North (Fake) Korea suffer internet withdrawal.

И.6. Speaking Finnish makes you cool. No exceptions.

И.7. Speaking Suomi makes you l33t. No exceptions.

И.8. If you speak Suomen Kieli, bring out the happy snacks! Behold, ladles and jellyspoons, the most 1337 h4x0r in the world!

  • . You will play as Stanley.
  • .1. You will not play as Stanley.

%. Never mention the fish that is also the acronym of a certain game. You will be hunted down by at least one hundred and fifty different internet users.

%.2. Never mention the Harry Potter fanfic about Enoby. You will be hunted down by at least one thousand different fanfic authors.

%.3. NEVER ask for Yotsuba rule 34. You will be hunted down and balls-shot by OVER 9000 4channers.

%%. For those of you who are imperceptive, it's C*D.

^". People over fifty cannot comprehend the internet. No exceptions.

^".1. The above rule is not a copy of a previous rule. It is an extension to said rule.

  • ". This rule is false if rule "* is true.

"*. This rule is true if rule *" is false.

¿. Infinity has no limits, but there is a limit to the amount of times you can use it.

¡. Breaking of this rule will automatically turn you into a noob.

∞ X The Lazah. Albanzchu is the only exception to all rules of the internet. NO EXCEPTIONS. If you apply Albanzchu, an ∞ amout of Lazahs will fire at you.

. Sometimes things are broken. Usually, no exceptions (unless there is one).


K.K.K. Always hail frogs and screw gods.

;. If you're going to wink at a girl, wink at a guy too, so he won't get jelly.

:. If you're going to wink at a guy too, wink at a girl as well, so she won't get jelly.

". Hell, just wink at everyone in the world so no one's jelly.

T. Always/never consult the manual.

T.T. Crying because it's the end of the page? See rule 8675310.

Well, that's the end of the rules. Well, it's nothing very special. Try to be nice to people, avoid eating fat, read a good book every now and then, get some walking in, and try and live together in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and nations.

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